Hot Slut Of The Day!

AOL Instant Messenger’s iconic Running Man icon!

Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll just be spending my morning loudly singing to Roxette’s It Must Have Been Love while shoveling spoonfuls of red wine, melted ice cream, cookie dough chunks and Valerian (I don’t have Xanax) into my sad mouth. Because two seconds after I woke up this morning, AOL Instant Messenger broke up with me after centuries together. Bitch is one of my longest relationships! After being AIM’s loyal and devoted ride or die bitch since almost the beginning (“Ride or die, really? I see you using text messaging, Twitter DMs, Facebook and iChat, you lying cheating whore.” – the Running Man), it ended our beautiful and long-lasting relationship.

The cold demon did it on IM too!

AOL announced in an FAQ that they have no plans to replace AIM after they bury it on December 15. It’s obvious that the AIM Running Man’s yellow blood is on the hands of social apps and text messaging.

AOL Instant Messenger was first born as a standalone app in 1997. It became the most popular IM app, and its icon, the Running Man (who went away for a second in 2011), became a trusted friend. Running Man never rolled his eyes at you (mostly because he didn’t have eyes) when you spent hours picking out your away message (mine were always Showgirls quotes). He didn’t laugh at you (mostly because he didn’t have a mouth) when you’d secretly download AIM at a job that didn’t allow it and would furiously try to turn off the speakers when the incoming message chime played. And he never judged you when you created fake AIM accounts to trap a boyfriend you thought was cheating on your ass. The memories we made together….

Running Man, you had a good run, and you even got to pull a hit-it-and-quit-it on Sharon Stone in a really weird commercial:

VIDEO

RIP AIM.

Pic: AOL

Our commenting rules are pretty simple:

If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).